The head of a woman’s clitoris, which is only about the size of a small pea, has a staggering 8,000 nerve endings; twice as many as the head of her husband’s penis! Her clitoris’ sole purpose is to give her pleasure. It serves no other function than to bring her pure bliss. Most women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone. Although intercourse is very stimulating, most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. This guide will teach you how to give a woman the best cunnilingus she’s ever had.
CFSPs' Deck of Sex Position Cards: A great tool for discovering new positions & adding variety to lovemaking!
A husband’s tongue can create more sensations than any other part of his body. It’s warm, wet, soft, textured surface is the perfect tool for clitoral stimulation. See where I’m going with this? Yes, a husband with a skilled tongue can give his wife great blessings in their marriage bed.
Men and women are wired very differently, especially sexually. What works for him probably won’t work for her. This post will guide the husband through the process of great cunnilingus. Here’s an overview of the process:
- Start with getting into the proper position for giving and receiving cunnilingus.
- Once everyone is properly situated and comfortable, we move on to the “first kiss” to get things started.
- Next, we’ll show you how to establish a rhythm for the rest of the journey.
- Once a good rhythm has been established we’ll show you how to start building lots of tension that will hopefully be released as the big O in the near future.
- After sufficient tension has built up, it’s time to supercharge your techniques and push her to the edge of orgasm.
- When she’s almost there, it’s time for pre-orgasm techniques to maximize the stimulation.
- And finally she’ll explode and melt into orgasmic bliss.
For the Apprehensive Spouse
We are bombarded with commercials about the importance of feminine “freshness”, and we’ve all heard the “fish” jokes. Because of this, many women are uneasy about their husbands going down there. In reality, a woman’s genitals have a self-cleaning system that’s more sanitary than many other parts of her body, including her mouth. One of the reasons she’s often lubricated, even when she’s not aroused, is because those secretions are part of her vagina’s way of keeping it bacteria-free.
Some women don’t like their natural scent and can’t imagine why their husbands would want to put their face down there. A woman’s scent might not be appealing to her, but chances are it’s intoxicating to her husband. The reason for this is a woman’s scent includes pheromones that are irresistible to a man. So, if your husband says that he loves the way you smell or taste down there, believe him.
Wives
If you’re apprehensive about your hubby going down there, here are a few things that might help. Take a bath/shower before getting intimate. Keep a box of unscented baby wipes near the bed so you can freshen up right before he takes the plunge. Relax. If your husband is willing to bless you with cunnilingus, LET HIM, trust me!
Tip: Wear a blindfold while receiving cunnilingus. Wearing a blindfold serves two purposes. It removes some of the awkwardness you might be feeling by not being able to watch him so you can concentrate on receiving his blessing. Removing your sense of sight heightens your other senses allowing you to enjoy his blessing even more.
Husbands
Don’t worry, she’s clean down there. Scientific studies have shown that a woman’s vagina is cleaner than her mouth. If she’s the one who’s apprehensive about receiving cunnilingus, make sure she knows how much you enjoy blessing her.
Before You Jump In Head First
Listen up, husbands. Believe it or not, THIS is the most important section of this post. Sexually speaking, a woman is not like a man who can drop what he’s doing and make love to his wife. She needs to be in “the mood”. It’s VERY important to spend ample time getting her in “the mood”. Make sure all the chores are done, the kids are asleep or at grandma’s house, and the bedroom door is locked if others are in the house. Lighting some candles and giving her a long sensual massage will go a long way in getting her in “the mood”. If she’s worried about being heard, run a fan or play some romantic music.
Once she’s in “the mood” she can thoroughly enjoy your very skillful tongue skills to the fullest.
Getting Into Position
Her Body
She should lay flat on her back with a few pillows under her head and shoulders with her legs bent at the knee and spread comfortably apart, but not too far. Her legs should be closer together than farther apart so she can have full control of her pelvic muscles. She needs to be completely at ease and relaxed: able to focus on the pure bliss her husband is giving her without any distraction — physical or mental. Her pelvis should be tilted slightly up so her genitals are easily accessible to her husband. A sex pillow positioning aid propped under her butt will help with blood flow to her pelvic region, as well as give her husband easier access to her vulva.
His Body
He needs to have enough space to stretch out and be comfortable. She’ll probably have to be pushed up as close as possible to the headboard of the bed. If you’re on the floor, make sure there’s lots of cushioning beneath both of you. Place a pillow under your “working hands” so they are as comfortable and as close to her vulva as possible. Position yourself vertically to her vulva. Your bodies, taken together, should form a straight line. All in all, you should feel perfectly comfortable performing a range of motions: licking for long periods of time, sliding your hands underneath her butt, lifting her legs and rocking her to and fro, placing a hand on her belly, and turning her body from side to side.
His Head
Great cunnilingus involves more than just the use of your tongue. You need to be able to get your whole face in there. Your nose should be buried lightly in her mound, with your upper lip resting firmly against the edge of her pubic bone. You should easily be able to use your upper lip and gum to give light pressure against the area just above her clitoris where her outer lips meet. Your tongue should easily be able to rest against her vagina and cover its entire expanse. You’ll need to be able to apply a full range of motions with your tongue: from long vigorous licks to deft persistent flicks, from keeping it flat to applying focused tongue-tip pressure. All in all, you should be completely involved with her vulva; on top of it, buried in it: face, mouth, nose, gums, teeth, and tongue.
Don’t settle for anything less than total comfort and total access. You’ll both know you’re in the right cunnilingus position when she’s able to comfortably look down and watch him work, and he’s able to look up, without breaking the flow of action and make eye contact with her.
Cunnilingus Positions
- Straight On Low [Prefered] – Classic cunnilingus oral sex position.
First and foremost, great cunnilingus must be delivered from a position that enables the husband to comfortably apply persistent, rhythmic pressure over a long period while his wife relaxes into the pure bliss of his expert cunnilingus. One of the main reasons men say they don’t give their wives cunnilingus more often and longer is because of the physical strain it puts on them. The Straight On Low cunnilingus position is our recommended position for giving and receiving cunnilingus.
The cunnilingus positions listed below are worth a try too when you want to change things up a bit.
- Straight On High – Classic cunnilingus oral sex position with easy access to her entire vulva.
- T-Cross – Great access all around her clitoris.
- Legs Together – Great for women with very sensitive clitoris.
- Her Leg Over His – Intimate position where she feels more connected.
- Loving the Prize – Intimate connected position that’s easy on his neck.
- Downward Dog – A difficult position that’s easy on his neck.
We also have several cunnilingus positions at our sister site ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com.
Communication Is Important
I don’t know about you, but I can’t read my spouse’s mind, and my spouse can’t read mine. Communication between the both of you during cunnilingus is very important. Wives, if he’s doing something that feels good, give him a moan. If it feels really good, moan louder. Husbands, if your wife says don’t stop, that doesn’t mean go faster or harder, it means keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing, and don’t stop!
First Kiss
Remember the anticipation you felt before the first time you and your spouse kissed? Remember how it felt when that first kiss happened? Great cunnilingus is all about building tension that will be released later as an orgasm. A good time to start building that tension is just before the first contact with her vulva.
- If she’s still wearing panties, kiss her through them.
- Gently run your fingers through her pubic hair.
- Kiss her softly on the inner thighs. Your kisses should be little succulent smacks (lips pursed, no tongue).
- After a while, move your kisses into the area around her vulva.
- Breathe the warm air from your mouth on her entire vulva.
- Blow, very gently on her clitoral head.
At this point, she should be relaxed and ready with anticipation of what’s to come. Before the first kiss make sure she knows how excited you are to be able to please her, how beautiful she looks, and how much this turns you on too.
CAUTION: Never, under ANY circumstances, blow into your wife’s vagina as though trying to fill it with air. Doing so is SERIOUSLY dangerous, and can cause an embolism that can lead to death.
The Kiss
Make your first lick a slow and tender “ice cream” lick from the bottom of her vulva to the top. Make sure your first lick is long and lasting.
- Start at the base of her vulva, and work your way up.
- As you kiss her slowly from top to bottom, press your finger lightly against her perineum (the skin between the bottom of her vulva and her anus). Place your other hand atop her mons pubis and nudge it gently toward her abdomen.
- Take in the full length of her labia minora (inner lips) and let your tongue pause briefly against her frenulum (the area just under her clitoral head).
- As your tongue goes over her clitoral head, brush it lightly as a feather.
- Once you pass her clitoris, push down on her commissure with the tip of your tongue and feel her clitoral shaft beneath it.
Now that you’ve lavished her with your “first kiss”, let your tongue rest flat against the length of her entire vulva. Take a moment to let the experience of your “first kiss” resonate.
Establishing a Rhythm
Your “first kiss” will definitely leave her wanting much more. At this point, most husbands make the mistake of sprinting to the finish instead of pacing themselves. They hone in on her clitoris and give it as much direct stimulation as they know-how. It’s time to show her you can go the distance.
Remember, you need to build tension that will be released later as an orgasm. The more tension you build, the more likely she will be to have an orgasm.
- Start with the Make and Break Cunnilingus Technique. This is the best cunnilingus technique for building up tension at the beginning of your journey.
- Next, lick her vulva from bottom to top, while avoiding her clitoris, 5 times. On the sixth lick, press the tip of your tongue on the head of her clitoris for a few seconds. Repeat this step, increasing the licks by one each time until you get to 10 licks.
Building Tension
Now that you’ve established a rhythm, it’s time to start really building up tension that will hopefully be released later as an orgasm. In these techniques, you’ll switch from your tongue to your fingers to create an array of amazing stimulation.
- Start by using the Adept Finger Cunnilingus Technique. This technique has a variety of stimulation.
- Next, you’ll move on to the Teasing Thumb Cunnilingus Technique. This technique demonstrates the power of width over depth.
Tip: Place your free hand under her bottom so that you can squeeze both cheeks together. Use this hand to create a foundation for her bottom. This will allow you to keep up persistent contact between your mouth/fingers and her vulva.
Supercharge Your Technique
Now it’s time to kick it up a notch. Use these techniques to supercharge your cunnilingus technique. Mix and match these techniques for the best effect.
- Horizontal Strokes Cunnilingus Technique
- Diagonal Strokes Cunnilingus Technique
- Cat Licks Cunnilingus Technique
- Flat Tongue, Still Tongue Cunnilingus Technique
- Rope-a-Dope Cunnilingus Technique
- Licking the Alphabet Cunnilingus Technique
- Suction Pucker Cunnilingus Technique
Pre-orgasm
What does pre-orgasm look like?
- She is panting and her voice is shaky.
- She closes her eyes and her nostrils are widened and she is unable to speak.
- She stares at her husband.
- Her ears turn red and her face is flushing.
- Her hands and abdomen are warm.
- Her language becomes almost unintelligible.
- Her body is soft as jelly, and her limbs are droopy.
- The pulses of her vulva become noticeable and her secretions are flowing more than ever.
- Her inner labia will darken.
- Her clitoral head will retract under her clitoral hood.
Now that your wife is near orgasm, her g-spot should be primed for stimulation. Her g-spot is part of the internal structure of her clitoris, and becomes easier to find and stimulate once she’s very aroused.
Use the Come-Hither Clasp Manual Technique to stimulate her g-spot. Use a few of the cunnilingus technique she enjoyed the most in the Supercharge Your Technique section (paying special attention to her clitoris) along with the Come-Hither Clasp technique to give her a “one-two punch” to finally bring her to orgasm.
An alternative to the Come-Hither Clasp Manual Technique is to use a G-Spot Vibrator to stimulate her g-spot while stimulating her clitoris with your tongue.
Allow her to close her legs and squeeze your head. This will allow her pelvic muscles to transition into an involuntary state of spasm. If her legs are too wide apart, she may not be able to orgasm at all.
Orgasm
Hopefully, the one-two punch of g-spot and clitoral stimulation is enough to release all of her stored sexual tension that was built up during cunnilingus in a glorious orgasm.
She Comes Again (and Again)
Why stop the fun after her first orgasm. Women have the amazing ability to have multiple orgasms. Now is the perfect time to switch to orgasm-inducing sex positions while she’s very aroused so she can come again and again.
Husbands: When your wife asks, “Where did you learn those new moves?”, point them to this site, specifically Giving a Great Hand Job. You’re welcome. 😉
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Credit: A lot of the information in this post was borrowed from the secular book “She Comes First“.
Ashton says
This is THE most comprehensive, thorough guide to stimulating a woman orally I have ever seen. Anywhere. I cannot wait to have my husband read it and put it into practice. Was this written by a man or woman?
Marriage Bed Tips says
Thanks, I put a lot of work into it. This post was written by a man.
Robb says
Very nice reading and cleared up some of the Mystery of where to start & is She really relaxed – the blindfold is a bonus for sure
Christi says
Thank you so much for being so detailed and open in a Christian manner. Many Christians are too quiet about sex.
God created it for a married man and woman. I love this focus that you offer. Thank you for being so accessible in a Godly way. It is important that Christians can openly communicate about sex.
Marriage Bed Tips says
You’re welcome, Christi. Believe it or not, this is only the beginning. We have big plans for helping Christians make the best love they can make.
Desiree Hills says
Thanks so much for all of the awesome information. We continue to learn from you!
Marriage Bed Tips says
No problem. Thanks for the encouragement!
Sarah says
This is great information and the way it is presented is perfect for those of us who recognize and appreciate that our marital intimacy is an incredible gift from Him on high for our companionship. What’s more, you take something sacred, spiritual and extremely special and unlike the world that degrades, dirties, trashes and even demonizes this gift that was given to unify, edify and supercharge a relationship, you review it, showcase it and teach it in a way that beautufies our bodies, strengthens our connections and sheds spiritual light on what can be a healthy, fun and fulfilling playtime for married couples to enjoy together in a respectful, reverent, selfless and loving way.
My question now is, as a wife of a great man, who I know would enjoy some incredible oral reciprocation, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I’m not really sure how to do it, when will you be publishing a similar How to Give Your Husband Fellatio?
Marriage Bed Tips says
Soon.
Jonas says
Really thankful for this guide! Do you still update this site?
Marriage Bed Tips says
I haven’t added much in a while, but I have big plans for this site in the future.
Andy R says
Really please keep this up. Like Paul says sex shouldn’t stop but when it’s time for church. These articles are great. I learned more from this then things I have paid for that were from non Christian. Hope to see those big updates. The 280+ positions link and married dance link is great too. Hope they restock the swing sets always wanted one to try and rather give my money to a Christian store.
Thanks again God Bless
Andy R says
Really would like a guide to help comfort your wife to get on top or do more. She thinks all on top positions she can’t relax or get comfortable. I’m big into cunnlingness and want my wife to ride my face but hard to convince her. Also with fellatio for me it’s hard to get exactly what I desire because of my involuntary thrusts or generally thrusting in her mouth is a no no. Even 69 is hard to convince. Last time we tried almost started an argument. Shes not petite so I get her anxiety about suffocating me but I really wish she get over it. She thinks sex should just be her on her back all the TIME! She wants comfort I get that. Once in a while be nice for her to take control while I enjoy and she experiences different things. Wish she be more open to it is all or have guide to help. Everytime we talk( and I mean talk, not me complaining) about new things she says we are not 17 anymore and I’m like that’s more of a reason to try new things. I’m not saying do acrobatics just switch roles. Hit different spots. Anything sex is just the last thing on her mind. Have had a lot of prayers over this.
Rob says
yup my wife too .is sooo uncomfortable to try anything other than the same old .in our 60s but really would like to step it up some . love my wife and would never go some were els .but !!!